Thinking hurts…

So I’ve had an epiphany of sorts. More like a realization really, but still amounts to the same thing.

A lot of us talk about how our friends change once the we have the surgery. that once the weight comes off and we are behaving differently, our friends start to either like it or not like it. The ones that don’t, we take notice of and point out at all our meetings, to anyone that will listen to how hurt we are. But here’s something that may have slipped your notice.

What if it’s us/you and not them?

Think about it, long and deep before you jump off the handle at me and call me all kinds of names. You can call me them if you like, but that’s another story.

Sit down and think about where you’re head is right now. What’s on you mind as your body changes and shifts, as your moods swing from one arena to the other, as you contemplate this new path you are on. Are you the same person that you used to be? I know that I’m not and after all this time of complaining about the people surrounding me, I’m starting to see that I’m also different, a new me if you will. The things I used to be willing to tolerate have changed, which means that certain people have to either change or let me go. I’m not to nice about it either, having less patience than I used to for the slow movers. This can and does cause some issues. Not everyone is at the same point in their life as me and I forget that as I chug along, changing and rearranging and throwing out the old the let in the new. Not everyone wants to change, no matter how much I may want them to. My thoughts are different now, dreams coming to the forefront and an urge to make them all come true. I have people around me that dream as well, but the different I feel at this point is that I’m going to make the effort to make them true, even if I fail miserably in the process. At least then I know. The people around me dream, but are scared of that final push and I often feel resent me for being willing to take the risk. It could be me though, and my unwillingness to slow down for them, when it’s clear that they are not going to make the effort to try to catch up.

I keep putting the blame on them, but some of it belongs on me and I’m trying to carry it like a big girl. I’m different, and I want different things from my life than I used to. I don’t understand any longer, though I doubt I ever did, those that don’t, Those that don’t want to be better than they are, but complain that things are so bad where they are. I want more, almost obsessed with it at this point and I see the slow people in my lane as obstacles, something to shove aside as I reach for the stars.

I guess what I’m saying is that not only do your friends leave sometimes through this process, but sometimes, you push them out of the way to get to something better. Whether this is good or bad depends on the friend. If they’ve made the effort to understand what you’re going through, the process and the emotions that rapid weight loss can cause, then I say slow down and let them catch up to you. they are worth it and even if the relationship is not the same, it could be better than it ever was, evolving into something beautiful. 

If on the other hand, they show no interest, pretending that you are the same as you ever were even through the mirror is clearly telling you something different, then if may be time to reevaluate where you stand with that person.