A rant if you will

Let’s talk about something that’s been on my mind for a while. A long while, since before surgery. Stereotypes.More specifically, the stereotypes that we as wls’er’s face every day. I’m going to start with one that plagues me all the time, though never to my face.

#1-you took the easy way out.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME! These people have no idea how hard this decision was, how hard it is to live it everyday, how long it took me to come to the conclusion that this was the only way to save my life. As a fat person, you know that I went on every diet that came out on the market. Took all the pills, did all the groups, lost all the weight only to have it come back on twice as bad. To be honest, I could deal with the weight. I loved myself enough that I liked who I saw in the mirror. Call it a strong upbringing, or a father who spoiled me rotten, but I did not suffer low self-esteem as some other people do. Whether they were overweight or not. what I did suffer from  was high blood pressure. It runs on the family and my father told me in an off-hand kind of way that his father died from it. They couldn’t get it down and he stroked out. That was the wake up call. That and the fact that every time I went to the dr., my stats just kept rising. I was diagnosed at the age of 25 with hbp. That’s not funny in the least. I knew that diabetes and other obesity related diseases were just around the corner. Being out of breath on three flights of stairs…not so cute. So I made the decision to lose the weight, any way that I could. It was not easy and it still isn’t. Do you know what it’s like not to be able to eat what you want, when you want? Being on the diet is easy, you can just cheat any time you want, with no consequences. If I want to cheat, I have to weight it carefully, whether it will mess me up later on down the road or right then. there is no falling off the wagon anymore. This is my life and it was the hardest decision that I have ever had to make. Don’t make me out to be come kind of lazy bum. It’s a tool, not a quick fix.

#2-People who have weight loss surgery always get divorced.

Have you ever thought of why that is? Once you lose the weight and start seeing yourself in a new light, you start to see the rest of the world in that same new light. People who used to be your friends now look at you as if you are a stranger. They whisper about you (sometimes) leaving you  out of events because they think you won’t go cuz of food. Your spouse, who was with you before the surgery, starts to get jealous of all the attention you’re now getting, jealous that you are taking better care of yourself, jealous that you no longer look at food the way you used to. They can’t sabotage you anymore, can’t bring food into the house hoping you’ll binge and fall off the wagon. I’m not saying that every relationship is like this. HELL NO! what I am saying is that some relationships are like this. Detrimental from the start, only the other person was too…something to see it. blind, lonely, whatever the reason, they stuck around, thinking it was all they could have. Almost like a battered wife. You think it’s what you deserve, until you see the light. The weight comes off and you start to feel better about yourself, you start to see a light at the end of the tunnel, knowing that your day is coming. People around you, if they truly love you, will stick through the ups and downs. Those that don’t, make it known early on how it’s going to go and you have to make the decision if it’s worth it or not. A lot times, wls’er’s don’t and that’s why they divorce and lose friends. It has nothing really to do with the surgery and more to do with coming into your own, finding your footing that you never knew you had.

Those are the two big ones that I deal with. I’m sure there are others and I’m very interested to find out what they are and how you combat them. Let me in comments or a link back to a blog post discussing this issue.