Chinese fake out

A few days ago, I was flipping through the cookbook that my BF’s sister gave me for Christmas, Now Eat This! by Rocco Dispirito and I decided to try the recipe for Almost General Tso’s chicken. I’ve been craving Chinese food for a while now, but it’s a risky thing to order out when you’re not really sure what’s in the food. At the risk of dumping or having other issues, I’ve been avoiding it for a while. With this recipe under my arm, I decided to see what I could do.

Menu:

Almost General Tso’s chicken

Fried noodles

It’s a bit labor intensive, with cooking the chicken separately and then adding it to the sauce, but in the end…so worth it. I had a few pieces, along with a bit of the fried noodles I invented and all was happy. At first. Then, after letting it sit for a while, I realized it was too much for me. I had to hit the restroom and stay there. I filled me up too much and I paid for it. Also, I think the spice from the chili garlic sauce did me in as well. I don’t seem to be able to handle spice as well anymore. I can do pepper, but if it’s anything other than that…it’s not sitting well for me. DAMN IT!

Still, I think that if I ate less or waited until my stomach is a bit bigger, I could handle it. The noodles were good and I could do them again, only with some protein in them like grilled chicken or perhaps some ground pork or beef.

Mood swings

Let’s talk about something that nobody wants to discuss in connection with gastric bypass. Mood swings. BAD ONES

I’m not talking about the ones where you feel a little down and then laugh and you feel better. I’m talking about serious, medication needing, don’t look at me funny or I’ll kill you mood swings.

Now the nurse told me AFTER surgery about the hormone surges and I thought “I can handle it.”

Uh…no

Most days, I’m okay. I manage to keep my emotions in check and don’t attack people. I can laugh and joke and it’s mostly okay. I still find it hard to pretend to care, but I think I’m doing a good job of faking it. Other days, usually when I’m at work, I find myself more angry and ready to just…*POW* I don’t know what it is. I want to hurt people, I want to attack them, make them leave me alone any way that I can. Sometimes, I fade out, thinking of different ways to attack people and see them cry. I can’t say that before the surgery I wasn’t this, because I was, only it wasn’t so scary and EVERYDAY. It might be work, but I think it’s more than that. I know I need to make an appointment with my PCP and see what they say. The nurse from support group made the comment that as long as I’m not on birth control, the extra estrogen released is easier to handle.

OH shit…wish someone had told me that before I got back on B.C.

Some days, it’s good. I’m not a menace and I can actually laugh. Other days…I just have to grit and bear it. I don’t know though how much more I can handle this. Spending time outside the house is a chore, unless it’s shopping. That makes me happy, but only so much. I still have to deal with other people who just don’t seem to get it.

I’m not sure if this a type of depression, or some kind of steroid rage that I’m not going to be able to control. We’ll just have to see the Dr. and see what he says.