So today marks 4 years for me. four years post op.
Four years since I had gastric bypass and my whole life just…shifted hard to the right. A lot has changed in that time…some bad…a lot good.
I still don’t like selfie’s. Go figure. I swore that when I lost the weight I’d be more into pictures, buttttttt…not really. Maybe it’s just a me thing or maybe…I still can’t reconcile the image in the mirror with what is still in my brain.
I’ve still to try to run. I keep telling myself that I’m going to do it, but it never works out that way. I just don’t like the thought. I still need to try it though…at least once to cross it off my bucket list. I don’t know though…seems like too much of an effort *lol*
I gained a confidence in myself that some would say bordered on arrogance. I don’t think so though. I know that there are woman who are more beautiful, more confident, more…just more than me. But there is no shame in how I walk or how I carry myself. I don’t know if I had shame before…but I know I didn’t have the same swagger.
I got divorced. Not that it had a lot to do with the bypass…but I think it just pushed the rest of the way over. I wish that it hadn’t gone the way that it had…but it did and I’m okay with it. I learned, dealt and grew from it. Maybe the weight loss helped me overcome the fear of being alone…of thinking that I had to stay where I wasn’t wanted or happy.
Four years and I’m still growing and learning who I am in this new place.
